The Advantages of Another Bush Presidency

All those white men who were discriminated against finally have jobs 


Not having to get up early because you don't have a job 


Not living long enough to enjoy your retirement because you won't be able to afford it anyway OR

Not having to feel guilty about not saving for retirement because you won't be able to afford it 


Not needing to take expensive foreign vacations in lands where they hate us anyway OR 


Not having to travel to countries where they don't speak your language 


Saving money on birth control pills since family planning is illegal 


No need to suffer through Paleontology because science is no longer part of the curriculum

Your child won't be distracted by non-essential classes in music and sports 


Your kids won't have asthma attacks because you left Harlem to clean houses in Arizona 


Saving money on vacations because your favorite campsite has been cleared for logging 


Being proud of your draft-age son for serving his country

Not needing to worry about taxes (unless you make less than $100,000)

Feeling confident that your country is bombing others in the name of Jesus Christ

Knowing there won't be an oil shortage, since the national wildernesses have been opened up for drilling

Not having to worry about college: the military will take care of that..

Not having to live with overworked/unemployed parents: they'll be deported or imprisoned

Knowing the HAVES and the HAVE-MORES will take care of the country’s finances, relieving me of the worry.