Expensive Lunches

Dear Employer,

While the power lunch may seem a thing of the past, don't think your employees are ignorant of the benefits of lunch with the boss, and the chance to have the boss's ear for a full hour. While it may be a slightly stressful experience for both of you, your employee will do their best to let the time pass slowly, and not overburden you with too many difficult office issues. But you know that eventually, after the food has arrived and perhaps the first glass of wine has been drunk, they will let loose with their pressing concerns. For them to be asked back, they cannot just pound you with questions the entire time. But if they have an issue to discuss, it will likely emerge before the check arrives.

Perhaps it is your latent hostility to this inevitable demand that has caused you to keep stiffing your employees with the check. This is an especially egregious habit given your extravagant tastes.

One of your employees has contacted us and alerted us to this situation. You need to be more aware of who is paying for these lunches. Did it ever occur to you that that bottle of wine you ordered last week was someone's weekly grocery budget? Leaving a dining companion with the bill is bad form in any situation, but in a meal with an employee it is downright dastardly.

If you believe you have received this letter in error, try the following:

-- Count the number of times you have stuck your employees with the bills. If it the number is greater than zero, it's payback time.

-- Like our mothers always told us: learn to read from the right side of the menu. Employees may insist on paying - or evenly splitting the tab, in which case you are still stiffing them if you had the steak and wine and they had club soda and a salad.

-- Lie. Tell them it's on the office and pay for it yourself. The benefits in terms of employee morale and your relationship with your employee will make it well worth the investment.

Perhaps you are feeling like these lunches are work and you deserve to be compensated. Your feelings are correct and that is why you receive twice the salary of your lunchmates. So don't be such a miser and next time try sharing a little of the wealth.

With due respect,


(a.k.a. Lunch Ladies for a Livable Wage)

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